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Includes 17837794512 meats + 2 sides.

Choose your meats (exactly 2)



  • Holiday
  • Shipping

Beef Tenderloin Half (2-2.25 lbs) - Local Pick Up

$200.00
$200.00
Shipping calculated at checkout.

DON'T WING IT! Reserve Your Thanksgiving 🦃 Turkey NOW

  • Choose Your Time & Date - This Constitutes Your Turkey Custody Agreement
  • Limited Supply- When They're Gone, No Court of Appeals Can Help You

What You Get:

  • Exhibit A: 1 Sous Vide Smoked Turkey Breast (no wishbone - two people fighting over a bone feels too much like my old job).
  • Exhibit B: Chipotle Cranberry Sauce (because that canned stuff sliding out with ridges still on it is a crime in 48 states. We checked).
  • Feeds: 6-8 people

The Process:

  • Smoked 7 hours- fully cooked.
  • Vacuum-sealed sous vide packaging.
  • Heat in 160°F water for 30 minutes. (DO NOT BOIL)
  • Made and Packaged in a USDA-inspected facility (because I'm still paranoid like a lawyer).
  • Mother-in-law approved.
  • Food Network approved.
  • Texas Monthly approved.

Meet Your Attorney at Bar-B-Q

"I left law because I was tired of dealing with turkeys. Now I just smoke them. Way more satisfying.

—Kyle St. Clair, Attorney at Bar-B-Que

Founder, One Ninety Smoked Meats

Why One90 Smoked Meats?

  • Guy Fieri Approved - He drove here. He ate here. He didn't sue.
  • Texas Monthly Documented (Multiple times on record)
  • USDA Certified Facility - Because paranoid lawyers make the safest BBQ
  • Mother-in-Law Tested - No objections filed
  • Legally Delicious - We have it in writing
  • Attorney Reviewed - By me. I approve.

The Verdict:

"Right now, "THAT" neighbor is performing turkey CPR with a baster. Her new boyfriend is mansplaining thermometers. You? You're 30 minutes from perfectly smoked meat...whilst drinking wine."

Court Reporter. Please Read That Back.

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